Penny Stocks For Dummies

The following is a satire and then commentary on the penny stock industry in the United States.

At Penny Stock Fortune and Associates, we want you to become filthy rich.

Are you ready to make 999 billion 999 million 999 thousand 999 hundred point 99999 percent trading in penny stocks?

Now you might be wondering, how can a penny stock make you rich?

I’m going to let you in on a big penny stock fortune secret that me and my associates have spent years and hundreds of thousands of dollars leasing supercomputers that run complicated trading algorithms to discover.

Yes I’m going to give you this secret, right now, just keep reading.

The low liquidity valuations of the respective market makers who provide liquidity against the bid and ask allow for short buying to be recorded as long buying against the derivative of the underlying security swap which pushes up the derivative position in the trade.

Now you might be wondering how I can help you profit from this.

What I can help you do is to take the liquidity reduction against the outstanding shares multiplied by the open interest minus the market makers commission against the dark pool.

What this means for you is big open lot orders against a funneling dynamic put to call ratio to determine the alpha of the sector and its subsequent beta. When the MACDThe MACD indicator is essentially a momentum indicator that shows the relationship between two different moving averages of price. The MACD is the difference between the 12-period ... More goes positive as a break through of the Donchian channel confirmed by the Parabolic SAR takes place, the volume expands on the breakout as the stock gaps up forming the baseline of the Andrews Pitchfork. This is then extrapolated into the Eliott C wave until a 1, 2, 3, Eliott A B wave forms against a Fibonacci retracementFibonacci retracement is a fundamental tool in the arsenal of technical analysts and traders. Rooted in the mathematical principles of the Fibonacci sequence, this technique is wid... More all inside the grand cycle.

At Penny Stock Fortunes and Associates, we may not be the best at clearly explaining things because we’re too busy making you money. Just buy our top secret penny stock picks and make sure to pump our penny stock picks to all your friends on penny stock message forums, Twitter, and Youtube.

Muhahaha… we love the internet and social media.

Satire aside. Seriously folks, have you monitored the SEC legal action page of their website and actually tried to count all the different scams involving penny stocks? The SEC even has webpages dedicated to penny stock scams like this one.

Penny stocks are usually some of the worst investments you can make. In fact, I wouldn’t even call them investments.

There is a reason a stock is traded over the pink sheets or OTCBB markets. These exchanges do not have as many investor protection rules in place. Usually, a company is a penny stock for a reason: it sucks.

I was the victim of a penny stock scam in a company called Plasticon. The press releases were flat out lies. There were liar videos and even false attorney certifications of patents. There was multiple reverse shell companies created where the money invested in one stock was transferred to another stock and then that other stock was diluted to enrich the owners. And folks, the SEC won’t help you either. They will seize the money and most often you won’t see a penny. I made repeated calls to SEC agents in two separate scams that I was a victim of and not once did I receive any money. Some investors did but it wasn’t a fair and equitable distribution and reimbursement to investors. You can’t count on the SEC to return your money if you are scammed in a penny stock.

Nevertheless, thousands of new investors are sucked into penny stock scams every day. The SEC only catches a small percentage of the total number of penny stock pump and dump scams.

The scams are so rampant and wide-spread that I have to wonder if myself and others are dummies for investing in penny stocks.